Father, God...
My soul is weary and I am praying for it not to be sad or tired. My fleshly feelings are so overwhelming at times and I hate it. I hate being of this world when my heart longs to be in eternity with You. I know that my walk on earth is a test for my future in eternity...so, therefore, to spend one day in Your Courts is fully worth any suffering because I know it could never compare to the suffering of my sweet, savior... Jesus Christ.
Lord, I read in your Word and it tells us about relationship... and about having other Christians to walk with and to help stretch us and grow us... but for some reason it seems that I cannot connect with other Christian women... why is this? Am I destined to be alone? Do I have good friendships and just can't accept them for what they are? Do I not know how to be happy and no one will ever be good enough for me?
I don't feel that my expectations or standards are too high. Please help reveal if they are.
I always say that it's hard to be friends with me. Why? Because I want growth.
Recently a told a lot of friends and associates to no longer talk to me about gossip or negative comments about other people UNLESS they are venting to me and seeking advice on how to make their relationship prosper with other people... do you know what has happened since then? My phone hardly ever rings, I hardly ever have text messages, people do not show up to see me or make plans with me...
Is it bad timing, Lord, or is this the UGLY truth? If people cannot talk bad about others or share gossip... they just have nothing to say?
What about life? ... What about You, Lord, and all your goodness? ... What about goals? Where are the people who want to talk about eternity and purpose?!?!?! Have you called me, Lord, to be a leader to the people who are wanting more of You? ... Have you called me to have patience with them as they rise up? I guess your Word does tell us specifically that we will suffer as we live more and more for You.... so I shouldn't be shocked.
You know the desires of my heart, God... You put them there... and I do trust you! I do!!!!
Your plans are to give me a hope and a future! Please help me to see more of you and less of me in all things, God. Help me to persevere and press on. Give me strength and guide me. Grant me patience and wisdom, Lord.
Empty me of me so I can be filled with You.
You have overcome,
April Poynter
2 comments:
:( some people don't know how to vent without being mean. And that's sad. I had a situation with a mean spirited women starting this time last year who was the same way. I finally told her I couldn't deal with hearing the negativity and then the women picked on me every. single. day. For 6 months!
Her meanness and negativity caught up with her and got her fired in January. I think it proves negativity and uncalled for hatred only ends badly!
I have been feeling a lot better not listening to a lot of negativity! I think that is right that some people do not know how vent without sounding like they are ripping into someone. But it is something that can easily be handled with thinking about what you say before you say it. I have learned that from the past. It is sad to know that some people live to gossip. I still find myself around it, but I also find myself not responding to it or putting myself in it. I have chuckled a time or two which is bad. But I care not to put in my two cents. I feel to be neutral and see people how I want to see them and not how the person that is gossiping sees them.
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